We are not our failures.

keepmywhiskeyneat:

TRUE STORY
One morning, I was awakened by a knock at the door. I rolled out of bed, threw a blanket over my shoulder because it was cold, and made my way to the front of the house. I opened the door and a very nice Mormon lady handed me a pamphlet and launched in to a well-rehearsed spiel about accepting jesus in to my life when she stopped mid sentence and gave me a peculiar look. I used this pause in her speech to politely decline her offer and wish her a pleasant morning. It wasn’t until I looked at what she handed me that I understood why I stopped her in her tracks and then proceeded to laugh for the next half hour by myself.

keepmywhiskeyneat:

TRUE STORY

One morning, I was awakened by a knock at the door. I rolled out of bed, threw a blanket over my shoulder because it was cold, and made my way to the front of the house. I opened the door and a very nice Mormon lady handed me a pamphlet and launched in to a well-rehearsed spiel about accepting jesus in to my life when she stopped mid sentence and gave me a peculiar look. I used this pause in her speech to politely decline her offer and wish her a pleasant morning. It wasn’t until I looked at what she handed me that I understood why I stopped her in her tracks and then proceeded to laugh for the next half hour by myself.

(via easyyluckyfree)

drag0nage:

Like Moths To Flames - I Solemnly Swear

drag0nage:

Like Moths To Flames - I Solemnly Swear

(Source: born-t0-lose, via a-s-k-i-n-g-a-l-e-x-a-n-d-r-i-a)

simplycameronc:

mexicansblog:

hopeissuffering:

fuzzykitty01:

orangewave:

bakamic:

izzy-sukeban-jones:

if you cut the tip off, how do you seal it when you save it for later?

^^^ Seriously. How do you store it after you open it?

Step one: step two: 

Y’all need Jesus. 

or even more easy way?

step 1

shots are currently being fired

this made me laugh so hard tbh

(via harleeday)

(Source: mcdougll, via thecolormorad)

(Source: bastidons, via hipstersareshit)

McDankolds
tastefullyoffensive:

[bunzilla]
galactic-space-dad:

🌷🌺💐💝💅🎀🍥🌸

🍆

galactic-space-dad:

🌷🌺💐💝💅🎀🍥🌸

🍆

xx6emo6girl6xx:

I like Toronto a lot

xx6emo6girl6xx:

I like Toronto a lot

(via galactic-space-dad)

(Source: parkbenchsolipsist, via dad-hats)

hiowl:

missmania244:

eatfithappiness:

epic-humor:

Animals Growing Up

Cuz who wouldn’t want this on their dash

The turtle one

If this doesn’t make ur day better u are wrong and you can go

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via thecolormorad)

chrisprattawesomesource:

Getting in shape with Chris Pratt

(via easyyluckyfree)

officialjeffgoldblum:

did we all just collectively forget that elijah wood was in spy kids 3

image

(via easyyluckyfree)